Jasante News

Okay so today is off to a hooorrrible start. Its raining and nasty outside..i get to class and of course we have a quiz that either i didn't know about or just cant flippn remember becuz this whole week has been crazy stressful. I had a biology class that i have mad work to catch up in from my encounter with the swine flu and car accident. Then on top of that i had to study for my media writing midterm, and in between all that I'm getting eviction notices from my apartment who keep threatening to take my stuff out my room. I'm trying to be focused and stay motivated, but with everything continuously falling down around me on top of (some) teachers who care only about a note, don't like you for whatever reason, or take their jobs extra serious and never let up. Either way Ive encountered them all during my 3 years at MSU.

Theres no one really for me personally to turn to for support specially when your family has their own drama and you have no friends (not that i dont like it that way) other than your room mates (who i adore), but have their own drama (lives) too. Guess i gotta keep praying on it and waiting for God to make a way. One thing i learned from last semester is when you let darkness in its hard to find the light again, and i refuse to give up again. So whether its just me in my corner till the end...If i make it I will thank every person by first and/or last name who tried to hold me back, make it harder than it needed to be, couldn't understand, or any and all the "friends" who didn't have my back, couldn't listen, took advantage, or played me out when i was down and out, stressed, or crying my eyes out, and to bosses and co workers who purposely tried to get under my skin will know that good things happen to people who have faith in others and do good by others because they put themselves in their shoes. But i realize now more than ever something my mom told me that im starting to believe now is True.

"Stop! being so nice to people and going the extra mile because not everyone you meet is like you so keep your guard up, and don't have faith that everyone is going to do a good thing by you or stand by you because most people are spiteful and selfish. Learn some of their traits and you'll survive in the world."

Harsh but its a sad reality. I cant change the size of my heart nor can i just be someone I'm not, but the more and more i cant catch a Got Dame break...i render the concept. Theres just been a lot more than i would care to say in this blog that has brought me down this week and the past few weeks that i guess just came out now. Off to montebello to see if i can get someone to help me pay off the rest of my tuition and rent since I've already been told theres nothing else left i can do. Huuuhhh! good luck to me!